Journey to Africa: Bittersweet

Journey to Africa: Bittersweet: I am sitting here tonight with mixed emotions.   The first three pieces of sold furniture were picked up today.  Shelves are bare as I ha...

Bittersweet

I am sitting here tonight with mixed emotions.   The first three pieces of sold furniture were picked up today.  Shelves are bare as I have boxed their contents and cleaned them in order for their new owner to pick them up.  Boxes are stacked in the corner with labels on them to make it easier to unpack in January.  Today it suddenly seems real - I'm really leaving.   It seems like this has been so much a part of my life in the past four years that you would think that I would be use to it by now.

But each time I am torn between leaving that which has become familiar, a schedule that has now become routine and new friends that feel like I have know them for a long time; and the call back to the States with my family and friends that I love so dearly.  How can you miss both places so much?  I have talked with other missionaries here who have said that when they are in their mission country they think about the States and in the States they think about the country that God has brought them to.

Welcome to the life of someone who is called "missionary".  We struggle with leaving behind all that we love and hold dear to embrace that which God has put in our heart with equal love and passion.  It is never easy, but I am thankful there is grace.  Sometimes I feel completely torn between the two - wanting desperately to be there for birthdays, holidays, the 1st day of school and just to share simple things like reading a book or playing a game with my grand kids.  At the same time eagerly awaiting the promise of what God has put in my heart for Albertville and the precious people here, like eagerly awaiting the birth of a child.

The difference this time is when I return to Albertville I will not be starting over.  I have made some wonderful friends here and I already know my way around town.  I have people praying for me here as well as in the States and I am truly blessed.  I have a full load at MSSU so I will be studying a lot while I am in the States.  How wonderful it will be when I can just concentrate on learning French and making connections - the real reason I am here in France as I continue to prepare for DRC.  How I am looking forward to that day - no more classes or homework!

But until then, I will continue to study,  pack up the apartment here  and begin to set my focus on transitioning to life in the States.  I will soon be saying "hello" to my American family and friends while saying "see you later" to my French friends.  I have learned so much on this journey and I know that I am a stronger person because of it.  I have been stretched to the point that I thought I would break only to find out that I could stretch even farther. So as I continue through this bittersweet time, I will savor the French food, the beautiful flowers, my river that flows past my apartment and most of all the quiet times that I have with my Dad.  I know that  part of my heart will always be in France.

Journey to Africa: My Heart Is Yours

Journey to Africa: My Heart Is Yours: Today is July 21st and we would have celebrated 36 years of marriage.  In the last four years I have learned so much, cried buckets of tea...

My Heart Is Yours

Today is July 21st and we would have celebrated 36 years of marriage.  In the last four years I have learned so much, cried buckets of tears, experienced things I would never have dreamed of, found my purpose and discovered how dependent on my Dad I really am.

It is hard to explain all the emotions that you journey through in this kind of loss.  It is easy to become a victim, to blame others and to become bitter - but there is no hope or future in that.  God promised that He would take care of me, that He would love me even if no one else did and He would provide for me.  It has been quite a journey, learning, stretching and overcoming.  Through it all He has been so faithful, even when I have fallen way short, blown it big time or just made a mess!  He has let me reap the consequences of my own actions and helped me see the broken places in my heart and emotions so that I can grow and be healed.  He has never once condemned me, rejected me or withheld His love from me.  

He has promised that even if my father and mother would forsake me that He never would.  I learned that was true on levels that I had never experienced before.  I have seen the hurt and understand first hand how very hard divorce is on everyone involved.  People that were friends when you were a couple are uncomfortable, they may not know what to say or they many not want to be put in a position where they feel that they have to choose sides. You children suffer the heartbreak of watching their parents and many times being caught in the middle.   So many times you not only loose your spouse, you loose friends, your church family and sometimes even extended family members.  

I had to remember that God created me and He does not make mistakes.  I can agree with Him that e is not mad at me, not disappointed in me or will not withdraw His provision or love from me if I don't preform.  I had to be still and know that He is God on a deeper level than I had experienced before.  I had to learn to agree with what He says about me over what anyone else thought or said about me.  I did not realize how those words had affected me until I was out from under them.  Through it all I learned that I can't change what people do or do not think about me, BUT I can change what I think about myself.  I can agree with my Dad that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I can agree with Him that He has a hope and future for me and anyone else who will believe Him.

Today, my life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I have real peace on the inside, I have such a hope and expectation for the future that He has designed for me.  My prayer is that if you have been through a divorce that you will be still and know that He is God.  That you will begin to agree with Him concerning what He has to say about you.  That you will have a deeper understanding that He is a good Dad and that He loves you more than you can possibly imagine!

My Heart Is Yours - Kristian Stanfill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC1MgLr2LqE

Big Life Changes Can Be Scary. But......

I haven't posted in a few days and even now I am not sure what to say other than I am not the same person this weekend that I was last weekend.  It all began on June 1st  when a friend sent me a gift and a scripture that she was believing for both of us!  It is amazing what can happen in just 24 hours that can completely change your life.  I can't share a lot of details yet but suffice to say that something that has been prophesied over me, prayed over me and I have been expecting for years is in the beginning to develop. 

This week the Lord and I have had many conversations in a completely new area of my life and while some things seem to be getting worse (if you just look at them in the natural) others are absolutely amazing.  In many ways this week I have felt like the church that was praying for Peter to be released from prison.  The had fervently prayed and believed, but then when he was released and knocking at the door.  They would not believe it was him and left him standing at the door! I realized that sometimes when we have been really hurt or disappointed,  it is easier to believe in someday rather than go through the painful process of birthing something now.  I believe God has perfect timing and just like a baby being born there are labor pains to indicate that it is time, but then we need to cooperate in order to receive the blessing. 

I have also come to the realization through my own experience this week that sometimes when we are believing for something that God has promised us and it has been a long time; that believing becomes the new "normal" -  for us the reality of it is somewhere off in the future.  In some ways we feel good about it because we can say "I am believing" - but what happens when it is actually knocking at your door?

I have sought the Lord diligently over the past week, I have confessed my fears in this area and He is healing my heart in new and amazing ways.   There is still some very tender areas in my heart and I am very aware of  my desire to protect myself, but that would again  be closing the door. It is not easy and there are some labor pains, but it will be worth it!

I am thankful that He continues to heal me and get me ready for the next chapter in my life. If you are believing for something the Lord has promised you, don't give up because He is faithful.  On the other hand, don't get so comfortable "waiting" on the Lord that you never give birth to the promises you are carrying. Change can be scary, but determine to push through and live the life God has promised you -  a life with no regrets!

Give a Man a Fish

So if you have been following along, you know that this picture and these words have become my battle cry.

This past week I have been challenged on many levels, misunderstood and again finding myself in uncharted waters.  I have been networking with people from around the world, making connections and having wonderful conversations.  I enjoy being able to connect people and resources, basically to be able help people any way I can.  

A missionary in Asia and I were talking this weekend, how do you talk to people about this new concept of missions.  People are struggling understand developing businesses to support and grow their ministry.  How can we help people understand that providing skills and job opportunities is missions?  What about preaching the gospel?  How do we fund it, how do we talk to people about it?  How do we help people understand that it is not one or the other; but both.

Another missionary friend in Africa posted a saying that we have all heard, "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; show him how to catch fish, and you feed him for a lifetime" -  Point him towards Jesus and he will find eternal life and will thirst and hunger no more."  My response was, "how amazing is it that God is raising up a group of people who are doing both".  God is not just interested in our eternal life, but also interested in every aspect of life here and now.  Otherwise Jesus would not have spent so much time talking about how to treat others as well as how to live out your life. 

Another missionary friend from Central America and I have had this conversation in times past.  Here is the question - there are always more people who need help than there are workers or money to meet the need.  If the money does not increase as the need increases what happens?  If we train people to provide for themselves through the gifts, talents and passions God has put in their heart then they move from needing to be helped to part of the helping team!  How awesome is that?  By training them, teaching them best practices and teaching them to treat their employees like God tells us to; their lives are changed, communities transformed and nations radically impacted for the Kingdom of God!

Most of us are not called to be ordained pastors - sheep, shepherd - you do the math.  Most of us go to jobs or our place of business every day.  We spend most of our waking hours there and develop strong relationships there.  So how do we bring the Kingdom into these places and change our communities and nations for the Kingdom of God; no matter what country we live in?  What is the process to be naturally supernatural in our everyday lives?  I think it starts by not separating the two.  Some of you are naturally gifted to do certain types of business or labor that nobody else can do.  Some of you are gifted to make lots of money to fund the kingdom of God, (Jesus had people who followed Him that paid the bills).  Some of you will invent things, write a book, create wonderful music or art - how can you advance the Kingdom of God through the gifts and talents He has given you?   

I have learned one thing over my journey - people spend time and money in what interest them and what they love.  I know several ministers, counselors  and financial trainers who say show me your check book and cell phone and I can tell you what and who you love.  So I would ask a simple question today - who and what do you love?  Before you answer too quickly - check and see if where you are actually spending your time and money on match up with what and who you say you love.

Blessings as you advance the Kingdom of God where ever you live today.

It's Not About How I Feel

This picture and these words may become my trademark for a while.  I have kept my head down and pushing forward since the last break.   I guess I did not realize how tired I was and how hard I had pushed until this last weekend.  I slept about 10 hours on Saturday.  I am very thankful to be finished with French school and I had my last final at MSSU on Friday. 

Since January I have wrestled through the feelings of it is too hard you should just go home, everyone else has a sending agency but you are all alone, and who do you think you are to do this?  Sometimes the sounds of isolation are almost deafening - but I'm still here!

Now it is time to lift my head up for the next couple of weeks before summer school starts and do some evaluating.  I have been asking God the last couple of days if I am still on the path He has designed for me, am I doing what He wants and investing my time wisely.  Through that discussion I have made some adjustments.

I won't be going back to French school for this next session and I will be writing my first book.  I have almost twenty pages written and I am very excited and apprehensive all at the same time.  I have never written a book before so this is a whole other first for me.  There are many things that I want to say and I know that there are more books to come.  So as I am writing I am also studying how to put together and publish a book. 

On another front, God has been unpacking the whole area of finances with me this past couple of months.  He is showing me my trust on some levels and but my lack of trust in others.  He loves that I am willing to blindly go if I think He says go and now He wants to expand on that.   I have always been a person who could take care of herself.  If money was tight I could always find a job - always even when other people could not.  This time I am in France.  I do not have a work visa so I cannot go to work here.  I am completely dependent on God.  In the past I have thought that I was depending on Him, and on a certain level of understanding I was.   I always depended on Him to find me that job and He did.  I feel like now He wants me to go deeper and is really establish some deeper foundations of trust in Him alone.

Having said all that, the reality is I do not have rent money for this month or money to pay for my classes for the last month.  I have never been here before.  I am at a place where I am completely dependent on God.  I know that He is working things out of me in the area of finances and complete trust in Him.  I have such confident trust in Him in so many areas.   I have cried many tears over what He is showing me. I have asked and asked why this one area is so hard. Some of it has to do with how I was brought up and some of it to do with my past, some of it is just my own "stinkin thinkin" as Joyce Meyers says.   I think we all struggle in some areas more than others, but God in His mercy will teach us if we will let Him take us through the hard places of our own wrong thinking.  

There have been weeks when I had no money to buy groceries and He wanted to know if I could be thankful and praise Him anyway. I didn't have money for the bus, could I praise Him anyway.  My feet and legs hurt from walking so much, can I praise Him anyway?  My couch is broken and has a big sink hole in the middle where I sit and sleep - can I praise Him anyway?  Other missionaries got cars and bikes, could I praise Him anyway?  He continues to strip more and more attitudes, opinions, perceptions and strongholds out of me.

A few years ago I had some prophetic words spoken over me several times over a period of about three years.  Each time it was exactly the same words spoken by women from different countries "pack your bags, don't unpack your bags."  I am still not sure what they all mean, but I think now He is stripping more out of me so that I can travel light in the spirit. 

I feel like He keeps telling me not to worry that He's got this.  In my heart there is peace, it is keeping my head out of it that is the problem.  Thank you to my precious family and friends who have prayed for me, encouraged me and sent your finances to help fill in the gaps.  Thanks for letting me share and for all of you who are reading along with me as I continue to journey.  You will be able to read more about the journey in the books that follow.  It will be interesting to see how God works this out as my trust goes even deeper in Him. I am forever thankful that He not only loves me as I am, but that He loves me too much to leave me as I am. 

This was my devotional study this morning and I was reminded that God always knows right where we are and what we are going through. He gives us sweet promises to encourage us to move on with Him.   But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon.  For they are transplanted into the Lord's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God.  Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green.  They will declare, "The Lord is just!  He is my rock! There is nothing but goodness in Him!"  Psalm 92:12-15

Perservere! Stay With It!

I know that two of the gifts that God has given me is perseverance and optimism.  I believe they have carried me through many hard times in my life.  That being said, there are days when I have to remind myself over and over why I am living in France and working so hard every day.  For the last four years I have had to put my head down and keep going, no matter how I felt or what it looked like.  I have decided that mental work (learning a new vocation and new language) are in some ways harder than physical labor.   Just as many of you know, life is not a fairy tale and it is hard work.  Over the past couple of months I have had several classmates comment that they don't know how I am doing what I am doing, especially with French exams, mid-terms and major projects all due at the same time.  My response is always, it is only by the grace of God.

I have always known that I could not do all that God has called me to on my own.  I knew at some point I was going to need to help to finish this race set before me.  Well, I have reached the point and I need your help finish this year.  Living in Albertville has been much more expensive than we had budgeted for last year.  The exchange rate for the dollar to the euro has really taken a drop over the past six months.  I had to semi furnish my apartment and food is much more expensive as there are not as many markets for competitive pricing as there was in Chambery.  There were some other unexpected expenses, but nothing that took God by surprise, but it has rocked my world more than once.

This is the real life part of the journey on the way to Africa.  I know that God has already figured out how this is going to work out and I have real peace about it.  However, it will still be interesting to see how it all unfolds.  I know I am where I am supposed to be at this season in my life.  I have been exhausted most of the time since January 2nd  really spending almost every minute studying in the beginning.  I have had to learn how to pace myself and make myself take breaks.  But through it all He is faithful and He has given me strength when I didn't think I can go any farther.

I am asking you for financial help in this leg of the journey.  This might not seem like a lot of money to many of you, but it will make a tremendous difference to me.  I am asking you to consider $25, $50 or $100 per month for the rest of the year so I can stay the course.  I know some tremendous things are getting ready to unfold here with this group of missionaries, the staff at the school and what God wants to release here in Albertville.  The battle has been too great and the call to know Him deeper is increasing in the hearts of many.  I believe that as you give, you are partnering with me to accomplish what He has put in my heart for Albertville and Africa.

I want to say thank you to those who have already partnered with me through your prayers and gifts.  I am praying for you as we partner together, we will all be able to rejoice together at the goodness of God here in Albertville and there where you live as well.  The call and direction is clearer than ever and I am expecting big things for all of us this year.  What an amazing time to be alive and serving in the Kingdom of God!

There are three ways to partner with me.

If you are in Europe you can send your check directly to me:
               Karen Banta
               1 Place Ferdinand Million
               73200 Albertville  France

If you are in the U.S. you can send your check to :
              Karen Banta
              c/o Corrine Boehne (my sister)
              1014 North Dade 41
              Jerico Springs, MO  64756

or you can click on the African continent link below to give on line.

Thank you again for your friendship, encouragement and financial support.  Love and blessings

Karen
       

How to Care for Our Missionaries

http://www.gofundme.com/458dc4

Author: Richard Brindley Category: General, Missions

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We tend to assign missionaries very extraordinary reputations—like “Varsity Christians” or “Gospel-centered Special Forces.” But, of course, they are just ordinary people. And while we may think of them solely as missionaries, they are not missionaries first. They are people first; ordinary believers who just happen to be missionaries.  
Their role in the Great Commission is to go and take the gospel to other nations. For the rest of us, our role is to send them. They go, we send. And as John the Apostle says in 3 John 6-8, we are to “send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God.” John continues, “For they have gone out for the sake of the name…Therefore we ought to support people like these, that we may be fellow workers for the truth.”
As fellow workers, there are two key ways we can help send and sustain missionaries: by caring for the person and by supporting their work.

Caring for the Person

Because missionaries are ordinary people, we can care for them just like we do any other person. We can encourage them, love them, pray for them, spend time with them, contribute to their needs, celebrate with them and weep with them.
But, while their identity may be ordinary, the context of their life is not. The extraordinary call on their life to leave the comforts and close community of home and move to a spiritually neutral or even spiritually unwelcoming people for the sake of the gospel means their ordinary day is not like any ordinary day in the Metroplex. This means we’ll be extending very ordinary care to people in very extraordinary environments. We will constantly need to ask, “How do we love and support someone in a high-pressure environment 10,000 miles away?” 
Here are a few suggestions:

• Get acquainted. Use Skype or Google Hangouts to get to know them. If you’re caring for a missionary as a Home Group, have each member of your group make a short video introducing themselves, quickly sharing about their life and praying for the missionary. Share the videos with them through Dropbox or send them with the next care package.
• Ask. Ask them how you can best care for them. Sometimes what we think would be helpful may not fit their context.
• Communicate often. Typically, two or three quick texts or emails a week are much better than one long email each month. These can be a quick prayer or a quick hello. Consistent little gestures of care and love tend to be much better than one rare, big one.
• Respond to their newsletters. It’s tremendously encouraging. Your response doesn’t have to be long, just respond.
• Pray with them and encourage them. Pray for their strength, for their affections and for fearless love for those they’re ministering to. Pray for God to move mightily. If you’re among their closest community, give them the opportunity to join your group in grace-filled confession and repentance and then Spirit-filled worship. Encourage them in the Word. Remind them of God’s faithfulness.
• Remember security. Check with the missionary or church to be sure your communication doesn’t endanger missionaries working in countries actively opposed to Christianity.
• Send care packages. Send some encouragement and some fun. Send things that would bless them based on your interactions with them.
• Visit. Few things are more loving and encouraging than face-to-face. Consider a short-term mission trip to see and support their ministry firsthand.
• Get creative. Do you write? Scrapbook? Make videos? Consider collecting pictures, prayers and stories of God’s movement in their life and ministry and recording them. On key anniversaries or during difficult seasons for your missionary, pull out the stories and remember with them God’s faithfulness (Ps. 66).

Supporting Their Work

We can support the work of ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances by two essential practices: praying and giving. Prayer is essential, as only God can bring people from death to life (Ezek. 36:26-27). Finances are essential, as sending a missionary to live in another country and providing for their ministry costs money. And while both the provision for the work and fruit of it belong to God, God tells us to ask Him to provide it (John 15:16).

• Support them with prayer. Pray for the missionary. Pray for their people. Get to know the people they’re ministering to by name. Consider assigning each one to a member of your Home Group to intentionally pray for that person’s salvation and sanctification (John 15:16; Jas. 5:13-18).
• Support them with finances. Search your budget. Give monthly. Sacrifice. Give prayerfully. Ask God to use your money to make disciples. When bigger needs or projects arise for your missionary, consider fundraising for it as a group.

Final Thoughts

John the Apostle goes so far as to call missionary supporters “fellow workers in the truth” (3 John 6-8). The apostle Paul calls them, “partners in the gospel” (Phil. 1:5, 4:15-20). Be encouraged that your role among the nations as a missionary supporter is never second-class. Support your missionary well, in a manner worthy of God. Finally, remember that a happy, healthy missionary is not the only goal of missionary care. A well-cared for and fully supplied missionary is our hope, but our greater hope is that by partnering with our missionaries as fellow workers, we will make more disciples together than either of us could on our own. May God use our ordinary efforts to build an extraordinary partnership between those who send and those who go.


I copied this because it has been hard for me to make the mind shift that I am a "missionary".  I have always had a heart for  Africa and now for France as I have lived here the past year.  I hope that if you have missionaries that your church supports that you get behind them 100%.  Leaving your home, people you love and moving across the globe is not easy.  For those of us learning a foreign language adds another layer of difficulty. If you don't support a missionary and you would like to there is a link below.  I am studying French in order to be able to work in the French speaking countries of Africa, beginning with DR Congo.  Thank you for your prayers and support. Love and blessings - Karen   

How It began: View from the Mountain Top

http://www.gofundme.com/458dc4How It began: View from the Mountain Top: Many of the students went skiing today, but I had taxes to finish, FAFSA to submit and homework to do.  I have been struggling to get back...

View from the Mountain Top

Many of the students went skiing today, but I had taxes to finish, FAFSA to submit and homework to do.  I have been struggling to get back to writing, but I had determined that today I would begin again. Living in the Alps mountains in France has been really different for me.  I grew up in SW Missouri where there are some hills, but no mountains.  The amazing thing about mountains is that from the top you can see for miles, but in the valley you can't see very far. However, climbing a mountain is hard work and takes time.  If you are a hiker or a biker it can take days to get to the top of a really high mountain.  It is a little like my journey with the Lord.  I love the mountain top, the view (new revelation) and the clean fresh air (new experiences with Holy Spirit) are so wonderful.  Even though you can't live on the mountain top forever, you can carry your experience with you.  Down in the valley is where most of the real life takes place, like taxes.....

Ah yes, as I finished filling out the spread sheet for the taxes, I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God, my Dad and how He has provided for me this past year. I have known Him as my heavenly Dad for several years and I so cherish our relationship.  I have found peace, comfort, security and safety in His arms - like any little girl running into the arms of her daddy.  He is my very best friend and we talk about everything. Sometimes I must admit, I have been guilty of doing most of the talking rather than listening.   Probably one of the things I love so much about Him is that I can ask Him anything and He does not get mad or think I am dumb.  In return He asks me questions to gently teach me and show me how I could have done something differently or in a way that would have brought better results.  He is always encouraging me to think bigger and sometimes I tell Him I don't know how, but I am trying.  

So today I want to invite you to go to the mountain top with me, even if it is only in the picture above.  If you have not known the God of heaven and earth as your Dad, ask Him to show you what that means for you.  Whatever you need today, ask Him for the revelation that will let you see it like He sees it.  His perspective from the mountain top is so different from ours here in the valley.   Let Him wrap His arms around you and take all your fears and give you His peace.

 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.  Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
 “All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:23-27  NIV

Dad, I pray for whoever is reading this today.  May they have a deeper revelation of you as their Dad, the one who loves them more than anyone else in the whole world.  May they allow you to take their fears, pain, sorrow and be able to receive your wonderful peace.  May they be able to tangibly feel Your loving arms around them and feel safe.  Thank you so much for choosing to be our Dad - for being my Dad - I love you so much.