We worked hard yesterday cutting up a huge elm tree that fell over from the winds last week. Brian, Jason, Leslie and grand kids worked really hard most of the afternoon. I am sure that old elm was over a hundred years old. It was so big that the chain saws the boys had would not cut through it. I also found the house has also sustained some damage from the winds so I guess that is now added to the list. Then I got to have supper with Brian, Amy and Brayden, and of course we had to play in his room for a while. I am soooo loving every chance I get to spend time with my grand kids before I go.
So after class today I will be checking with the insurance company, locating a realtor, trying to finish my application for enrollment to the University of Savoie, France and apply for my student visa. Oh yeah, I need to working on building my business, checking my work schedule and studying for classes on Wednesday!
I also found out yesterday that Jerry will be getting married in June. I can't say that I am surprised I knew it wouldn't be very long. I talked with his dad yesterday and I hurt so much for all of them. It seems hard for the boys to talk about . . . . I hope Jerry will finally be happy.
On the other hand I have a lot to do between now and June to get ready..........If anyone has any good ideas about how to pack to move to another country I would love to hear your ideas. I started sorting through some things last week, thinking if I do a little at a time it won't seem like such a big mountain in May.
I am also finding that I have a desire just to stay "home" that I have not had before. I just want to snuggle down and not go anywhere. . . .which is not like me. Sometimes I look around and know that in a very short time I won't be here. I really like my apartment and have been so blessed by it, I know God picked it out just for me. I am trusting that in the same way He will go before me and choose where He wants me for the rest of my journey. I continue to make plans, but I trust Him to direct my steps and change my course if I am heading in the wrong direction.
I am praying that we all have the strength and perseverance to do what God is calling us to in this next season of our lives. Many of us are stepping out into uncharted waters and I pray we will not be afraid but will move more in sink with Him. May His grace and peace be a signpost in our lives as we continue to stay positioned under His protection and provision. I love you Dad and I am so grateful for your sweet presence everyday of my life.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Working Through It
So last night I was struggling through following the call I feel is on my life. I have experienced times of tears and counting the cost before when I felt like God was asking me to follow Him a little deeper. Last night and again this morning I have been crying through some of the grieving part of following Him. There are things in this natural part of life that I will miss and it hurts.
There is a real part of my flesh that does not want to leave. As a mom, I want to be close to my sons and their beautiful wives. As a grandma I want to hold and love on my grand kids. I want to take them to the park (they all love it so much when we do that), see their Christmas plays and go to their school functions. I want to be there when Evan is born and hold him, love on him and bless him.
I love my apartment - God picked it out just for me and He has met me here so many times. It is my special place to just hang out with Him. I will miss my co-workers, we have become very close friends. When we were talking about it yesterday one of the sweet young girls and I began to cry. They are excited for me and know that God is going to use me there, but we will miss each other.
Some of my friends have expressed a variety of emotions. One friend in particular says, "I am so excited for you because I know you are stepping into what God created you to do, but I am soooo in denial that you are leaving." On one had it seems like a long time away, on the other hand it feels like tomorrow!
I will miss the friends I have made at MSSU. I know that God sent me to Southern and there are precious men and women there who love God and do a fantastic job. He used them to encourage me, to point me in the right direction and to open doors of opportunity that I would not have even known about unless these precious people had called me or personally told me about it. I have seen His hand move on my behalf time and time again.
It is natural to grieve loss and I know that I will move in and out of this over the next three months. It does not mean that I am questioning the next step. I know that DR Congo is the next step and I believe that the doors that will open once I step into the water will be amazing. I also believe that I need to allow God's grace to walk me through this process into a healthy place.
I received a promise from God years ago that I would be like Abraham. He was called out away from his family and his homeland to a place that he did not know. God told him he would know it when he saw it, but did not even know the name of the place. He was not really able to tell people where he was going or what he was going to do, but he just knew that God had called him. Since his family did not know God, they all thought he was nuts. I know that sometimes it is hard to understand, but I know His voice and I am committed to follow Him to the best of my ability. Having said that, as I have read the Bible it was hard for anyone who really followed God. Many times they had to do things that other people did not understand and tried to talk them out of doing. I pray that someday my kids and grand kids will understand. I am thankful that today there is skype and fb where we can talk to each other and see each other.
Never forget that God has promised to restore what we give up and the blessings beyond our cross are worth it! Jesus looked at the joy set before Him so that He could go to the cross. I believe that we also need to keep the promise that God has given us to before us so that we can face whatever difficulty is in front of us too.
I want to encourage you today that whatever you are walking through, God has already gone before you and prepared everything that you need. It does not mean that it will always be easy, there may be tears and you may feel loss. But as we continue to work through the process there will be joy in the morning. God will finish what He has begun in us and it will be worth it!!!
There is a real part of my flesh that does not want to leave. As a mom, I want to be close to my sons and their beautiful wives. As a grandma I want to hold and love on my grand kids. I want to take them to the park (they all love it so much when we do that), see their Christmas plays and go to their school functions. I want to be there when Evan is born and hold him, love on him and bless him.
I love my apartment - God picked it out just for me and He has met me here so many times. It is my special place to just hang out with Him. I will miss my co-workers, we have become very close friends. When we were talking about it yesterday one of the sweet young girls and I began to cry. They are excited for me and know that God is going to use me there, but we will miss each other.
Some of my friends have expressed a variety of emotions. One friend in particular says, "I am so excited for you because I know you are stepping into what God created you to do, but I am soooo in denial that you are leaving." On one had it seems like a long time away, on the other hand it feels like tomorrow!
I will miss the friends I have made at MSSU. I know that God sent me to Southern and there are precious men and women there who love God and do a fantastic job. He used them to encourage me, to point me in the right direction and to open doors of opportunity that I would not have even known about unless these precious people had called me or personally told me about it. I have seen His hand move on my behalf time and time again.
It is natural to grieve loss and I know that I will move in and out of this over the next three months. It does not mean that I am questioning the next step. I know that DR Congo is the next step and I believe that the doors that will open once I step into the water will be amazing. I also believe that I need to allow God's grace to walk me through this process into a healthy place.
I received a promise from God years ago that I would be like Abraham. He was called out away from his family and his homeland to a place that he did not know. God told him he would know it when he saw it, but did not even know the name of the place. He was not really able to tell people where he was going or what he was going to do, but he just knew that God had called him. Since his family did not know God, they all thought he was nuts. I know that sometimes it is hard to understand, but I know His voice and I am committed to follow Him to the best of my ability. Having said that, as I have read the Bible it was hard for anyone who really followed God. Many times they had to do things that other people did not understand and tried to talk them out of doing. I pray that someday my kids and grand kids will understand. I am thankful that today there is skype and fb where we can talk to each other and see each other.
Never forget that God has promised to restore what we give up and the blessings beyond our cross are worth it! Jesus looked at the joy set before Him so that He could go to the cross. I believe that we also need to keep the promise that God has given us to before us so that we can face whatever difficulty is in front of us too.
I want to encourage you today that whatever you are walking through, God has already gone before you and prepared everything that you need. It does not mean that it will always be easy, there may be tears and you may feel loss. But as we continue to work through the process there will be joy in the morning. God will finish what He has begun in us and it will be worth it!!!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Where it began
The seeds of Africa were planted in my heart at a very young age. When I was about seven years old an evangelist came to our church from South Africa. He shares so simply how much Jesus loved me and He died so that I could experience that love. My heart nearly exploded and as I asked Jesus to fill me with that love - He did. I remember feeling so light and free - and at the same time I thought I want to go to Africa some day!
Many times throughout my life I would respond to God and express to Him my willingness to do what ever He asked me to do and go where ever He wanted me to go. If you have know me more than five minutes you know that I am neither "perfect" or "good enough" to be chosen - but He chose me anyhow. I have made many mistakes in my life and have missed the mark, but God is faithful even when I am not. He does not look at my qualifications, He looks at my willingness and then He qualifies me.
This summer I will begin a journey that has been in my heart since I was a little girl. People have told me I am crazy, foolish and the list goes on and on. However, when I read about the men and women in the Bible who actually followed Christ, many of then were misunderstood as well. I have a pretty good understanding that this will not be easy, but the last several years of my life have not been easy either. I believe that God had to work some things out of me before I was able to be used by Him to the hurting people of Africa. I am also excited about the lives that will be forever changed as we journey together.
I will be selling everything by the end of May. That sounds so final, but it is true. I have cried buckets of tears as I have processed through this next phase of the journey. There is something freeing and something a little unnerving about that all at the same time. I look around my little apartment and realize I have a lot to get rid of in the next three months! I will be leaving my kids and grand kids because I feel deep inside of my heart this is what I was created to do. I am putting the house on the market Monday and trusting God that it will be sold quickly. That will be the first time in my life that I will not have a permanent address.
A am grateful for the journey and in awe of the opportunity that lies before me. I hope as we journey together that we will grow in the fullness of what God has for all of us and see His Kingdom unfold before us. May His grace and peace fill your heart today as you continue on your passionate pursuit of Him :)
Many times throughout my life I would respond to God and express to Him my willingness to do what ever He asked me to do and go where ever He wanted me to go. If you have know me more than five minutes you know that I am neither "perfect" or "good enough" to be chosen - but He chose me anyhow. I have made many mistakes in my life and have missed the mark, but God is faithful even when I am not. He does not look at my qualifications, He looks at my willingness and then He qualifies me.
This summer I will begin a journey that has been in my heart since I was a little girl. People have told me I am crazy, foolish and the list goes on and on. However, when I read about the men and women in the Bible who actually followed Christ, many of then were misunderstood as well. I have a pretty good understanding that this will not be easy, but the last several years of my life have not been easy either. I believe that God had to work some things out of me before I was able to be used by Him to the hurting people of Africa. I am also excited about the lives that will be forever changed as we journey together.
I will be selling everything by the end of May. That sounds so final, but it is true. I have cried buckets of tears as I have processed through this next phase of the journey. There is something freeing and something a little unnerving about that all at the same time. I look around my little apartment and realize I have a lot to get rid of in the next three months! I will be leaving my kids and grand kids because I feel deep inside of my heart this is what I was created to do. I am putting the house on the market Monday and trusting God that it will be sold quickly. That will be the first time in my life that I will not have a permanent address.
A am grateful for the journey and in awe of the opportunity that lies before me. I hope as we journey together that we will grow in the fullness of what God has for all of us and see His Kingdom unfold before us. May His grace and peace fill your heart today as you continue on your passionate pursuit of Him :)
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