Monday, July 21, 2014
Journey to Africa: My Heart Is Yours
Journey to Africa: My Heart Is Yours: Today is July 21st and we would have celebrated 36 years of marriage. In the last four years I have learned so much, cried buckets of tea...
My Heart Is Yours
It is hard to explain all the emotions that you journey through in this kind of loss. It is easy to become a victim, to blame others and to become bitter - but there is no hope or future in that. God promised that He would take care of me, that He would love me even if no one else did and He would provide for me. It has been quite a journey, learning, stretching and overcoming. Through it all He has been so faithful, even when I have fallen way short, blown it big time or just made a mess! He has let me reap the consequences of my own actions and helped me see the broken places in my heart and emotions so that I can grow and be healed. He has never once condemned me, rejected me or withheld His love from me.
He has promised that even if my father and mother would forsake me that He never would. I learned that was true on levels that I had never experienced before. I have seen the hurt and understand first hand how very hard divorce is on everyone involved. People that were friends when you were a couple are uncomfortable, they may not know what to say or they many not want to be put in a position where they feel that they have to choose sides. You children suffer the heartbreak of watching their parents and many times being caught in the middle. So many times you not only loose your spouse, you loose friends, your church family and sometimes even extended family members.
I had to remember that God created me and He does not make mistakes. I can agree with Him that e is not mad at me, not disappointed in me or will not withdraw His provision or love from me if I don't preform. I had to be still and know that He is God on a deeper level than I had experienced before. I had to learn to agree with what He says about me over what anyone else thought or said about me. I did not realize how those words had affected me until I was out from under them. Through it all I learned that I can't change what people do or do not think about me, BUT I can change what I think about myself. I can agree with my Dad that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I can agree with Him that He has a hope and future for me and anyone else who will believe Him.
Today, my life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I have real peace on the inside, I have such a hope and expectation for the future that He has designed for me. My prayer is that if you have been through a divorce that you will be still and know that He is God. That you will begin to agree with Him concerning what He has to say about you. That you will have a deeper understanding that He is a good Dad and that He loves you more than you can possibly imagine!
My Heart Is Yours - Kristian Stanfill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC1MgLr2LqE
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